Book Review: The Fault In Our Stars

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“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

From my very tearful experience with this book, (okay, I lied. It was more of a ‘I was up until 3 am with my half-opened eyes glued to the pages, balling my eyes out and I was still a mess for the next 3 days’ kinda thing rather than just a ‘tearful experience’.) I personally believe that The Fault In Our Stars by John Green should be voted ‘Best Book of the Year’ ‘Most Heartbreaking Book of the Century’. After being voted this, I’m guessing it should be followed by ‘Most Heartbreaking Movie of the Century’ after it’s cinema release mid-next year. I was told by many of my friends and family that I could find myself shedding a tear or two while reading, but I was not prepared for the 20,000 tissues I’d soaked from my late night sobbing.

Here’s a quick summary from Amazon before I continue:

‘Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten.’

Without trying to give too much else away, it’s very much a romance novel for the teenagers and maybe even some adults-young-at-heart, yet some of the language used throughout is punching way above my vocabulary level (I did get a C- in English, but in my defence my very intelligent mother didn’t know half the words either). Hazel Grace, a 16-year-old cancer patient, goes through too many ups and downs for someone of her age. However throughout the story, she almost never fails to find happiness in the simplest of things, and her love interest, Augustus Waters. Augustus Waters has to be the most charming boy I’ve ever met (or read of, anyway). From start to finish, he reminded me of my own love, which (SPOILER ALERT) made the distressing fate of Augustus Waters the perfect justification for my 3 day sob-sesh. (I then went on to send my boyfriend a 10-page long message at 3 in the morning explaining how much I loved him and that he was to never leave me like Augustus left Hazel. He obviously had no idea what I was talking about). Despite the personal connection to this story (that being to cancer and to Augustus), I was very disappointed to discover that one of the most referred to objects in the book, another book titled An Imperial Affliction, is actually not a real book. You may not understand my disappointment at the minute, but once you read it, you’ll feel my pain.

Although I do not wish upon you the crying and sobbing that I endured, I do however recommend The Fault In Our Stars as a ‘must read’. If you love a bit of sad love story, and you love a bit of a late night read (which I would also recommend if you’re a bit of a cryer, can’t have people seeing you in such a state) then I would definitely encourage you to get this book, and fast.You’ll definitely want to be prepared for when the movie comes out. You’ve got 6 months, but as Augustus Waters once said, ‘What a slut time is. She screws everybody.’ 

Okay.

Overcoming Fears: Commitmentphobia

Commitmentphobia: Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnerships or marriage. (yes, it’s a real thing, I think)

I was terrified petrified of commitment. I was terrified of basically handing someone my heart and for them to crush it right there in front of me. I would usually break their heart before they had the chance to break mine, and I would do it hopefully early enough that they hadn’t fallen hard, but it was always too late. I always did it right at their peak, right when they thought that everything was crystal clear and perfect. I used to play along with it, pretend to them that what I was feeling was real and make them think that I was falling for them at the same pace they were falling for me. And then, boom! I ended it, with no explanation. There was this one guy who I honestly did like, but I didn’t want anything because I knew I couldn’t commit to him. And the next day I saw him with one of my closest friends, and it was rumoured that they were together. I didn’t take a bar of it, and did everything in my power to make sure he was mine. I fought for him, and when he saw that I was fighting, he realized maybe I could commit. After three months of fighting for him, we made it official, and 4 days later I ended it because I couldn’t commit to him. I realized that I liked the thought of being in love with him, but I didn’t actually want to be in love with him. I tried to narrow it down to him not being my type, but if I’d gone through all of this, he must have been my type, right? To this day I try to convince myself that’s all it was, but I knew, I know, that it was all about the commitment.

That was 3 years ago, and now 3 years later, things are finally different. It’s taken 3 more failed attempts at trying to commit to someone, but now I think I’ve finally overcome my fear. It’s been 2 months, and I’m still with my boyfriend whom I love dearly. 2 months isn’t long, but for someone with these kinds of fears and issues, it’s long enough. It took some time, but I’ve finally been able to commit to one person. And I’ve finally been able to get over my commitmentphobia. Overcoming fears, that’s the best part, right?

Welcome :)

It’s nerve-wracking, this. Opening up your mind to the rest of the world. Writing all your thoughts and feelings on the internet, for everyone to see. Honestly, I don’t know where to start. So I guess to start with, welcome! I know at the moment, it’s not much, but it’ll get there. It’ll include a bit of everything; personal posts, inspiration posts, fashion, art, life, and more, so here’s hoping you like a bit of everything. Enjoy!